We have a government over our emotional world. Fortunately, we are not ships at the mercy of the wind; however, this power is of little use if we are not aware of it. The question is why do we make so few plans to feel better?
Do we have absolute control over how we feel? No. Can we make statements and then act on them so that our emotional state changes in a consciously directed way? Yes
Anger, frustration, anger, frustration, fear, grief… Negatively valenced emotions have many faces and conduct deep discomfort. In this context, one of our most important goals should be to understand and manage all these realities.
Moving from emotional slavery to emotional mastery requires goal setting. Taking responsibility for how we feel will allow us to achieve what we want. We also connect much better with others and have more control over our lives. Just as we set goals for personal, economic, or physical health, we should do the same for this.
After all, the emotional sphere dominates our entire existence. He is the architect of all that we are, decide and perform. Improved control at this level translates, almost inevitably, into an increased sense of control. Achieving emotional goals is a high-value strategy worth delving into.
A life of adequate emotional well-being is a wonderful gift you can give yourself by learning to understand, regulate, and channel each of these psychophysiological states.
What are emotional goals?
Just a few months ago, an investigation was carried out by Liverpool Hope University, the University of Warwick and the Autonomous University of Madrid. The goal was to delve into the emotional goals that people set for themselves throughout life, from childhood to adulthood.
Something that became apparent in this work is that for the human being, emotions are not just ways we feel: they are also mechanisms for taking control of our lives. We are not only faced with psychophysical states that overwhelm us, that bring us happiness, despair, panic or hope.
When we realize the power of managing our emotional world, we can begin to set goals. In other words, we started making action plans to achieve goals in the same way we do in other areas, which is a great tool for psychological well-being.
Emotional goals are reactions or states that we want to experience by practicing proper management or regulation of those states.. For example, I can make it a goal to keep calm when presenting my work so that I don’t make a fool of myself and get a good grade. I can also make it a point not to get angry and lose my temper when talking to a colleague I don’t get along with. Let’s get more information.
Deciding what to do with your emotions instead of letting them decide for you should be one of your priority goals in your daily life.
What types of goals or emotional goals are there?
There are two types of emotional goals. These are two strategies that somehow we have all experienced and applied more than once without realizing it. They are the following:
- hedonic goals: They consist of encouraging a series of behaviors that allow us to feel good. Such an example is the person who is under a lot of stress at work and makes it his goal to have a good weekend without thinking about anything else.
- Instrumental goals in emotional matters are most beneficial and beneficial to psychological well-being. They consist of promoting useful strategies to reduce negatively valenced emotions in a specific context. In this case, hedonic and pleasurable emotion is not used as an escape mechanism, but is proposed to regulate and manage this problematic state. Face him without dodging.
To improve our emotional regulation, it will be helpful to ask ourselves the following question: how do I want to feel in this situation? This will allow us to set targets and better control mechanisms.
How to set instrumental emotional goals
Instrumental goals in emotional matters tell us that there are situations and contexts in which it is common to feel more distressed, stressed, or worried. A) Yes, When we are faced with a personal challenge, it is interesting to ask ourselves the following question: how would I like to feel in this situation?
Let’s imagine that we have a stressful job or that there is someone who makes us feel uncomfortable or makes us angry often. In these cases, we can set the emotional goal of being able to act with greater self-control and solvency. The goal is not to “enjoy” or experience hedonic and pleasurable emotions. What we want is not to hurt ourselves, to be calm. Act in a balanced manner.
In these cases, instrumental goals suggest that we reflect on the following:
- All emotions are useful, including the negative ones. Anger, anger, or grief only alerts you to some threat that you need to act on. And for this you should calmly meditate and apply solutions to problems.
- We cannot allow ourselves to be carried away by feelings. To avoid these “kidnaps”, let’s think, take a deep breath and consider what to do before reacting.
- We must accept that we are not at the mercy of our emotions. We are all capable of developing strategies to modulate these states and use them to our advantage.
Moving from emotional slavery to self-control of emotions takes time and appropriate strategies. No one learns from day to day, but with will, focus and patience we will emerge as effective managers of this universe that is so crucial in our lives.
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