How to manage emotions so that work does not affect

I started switching off they dry up. I had achieved the dream of my life, what I had been fighting for and what seemed like a path to success. Good luck in my professional career, but I was not happy. And I broke down. It was a mistake, I sold my soul to the devil,” explains Coral Junquera.

Graduated from personal development and leadership from the Autonomous University of Barcelona, ​​with several master’s degrees on her resume and after 18 years in England, she was more than ready to find a good job. And he did it in one of the Business with the biggest potential at the moment, Amazon. She was flattered then, shortly after her dream turned into a nightmare. “I didn’t enjoy any of my days was working. I locked myself in the bathroom to cry and punish myself for not enjoying an experience that not everyone gets to have,” explains Coral.

Her desire to throw it all away is not the result of the company or her colleagues treating her poorly, quite the opposite. “Have a nice one leader, super talented and I knew a lot of people around me who were very good there, but it wasn’t my case. I have not been mistreated or exploited or had a bad boss or companions terrible. The issue It wasn’t the company, it was what I allowed myself I’m blinding with career projection and great salary. It just wasn’t for me,” he says.

“Suddenly I got up tinywas surrounded by many powerful and I thought “what am I doing here?” I fell into the famous imposter syndrome. I never felt like I fit into the team, I wasn’t myself, I was tense all day, I didn’t enjoy my work and every time I affected more and more”.

Coral Junkera, HR Content Specialist at Factorial.

These are reasons enough to place ours emotional health. “If we begin to think negatively about ourselves or about a particular situation, we begin to produce change chemicals at the brain level and we will start to feel bad, sad, scared, insecure…” explains Manuel Escudero, clinical psychologist and specialist in emotion management on work. “It is not the events that make a person feel a certain way, but the interpretation that is made of the situation. Ours thinks they become the main source of our anxiety.

Dealing with emotional well-being

There is no doubt about the important role of mind to achieve the desired emotional well-being: 93% of Spaniards believe that it can make us feel better or worse in the same situation, according to a report prepared for Rescue, which also points out that emotional malaise particularly affects a dream -42% say they don’t sleep well and wake up at night- and at work: 32.6% say they are heavily strung and restless without focusing on anything.

“It is the mind that creates reality, everything good and bad that happens to us, emotional well-being depends on how we interpret the situation,” also points out David Gomez, expert coach at mental focus. “When work overwhelms us and drives us to the limit, it is usually due to self-imposed demands and a search for perfectionism. This is something that happens more to women, perhaps because of their education, and which can generate a self-esteem problem with respect; imposter syndrome It is based on the fact that you do not value yourself. Of course you deserve this job or you wouldn’t get it, but there’s a part of you that doesn’t believe it,” says this professional, creator of the mental program NeuroFocus System, who defines himself as a mind coach and has worked with emotions for 15 years .

Coral did not find her place in the company, I took her; precise therapy and the help of a psychologist who provided tools to deal with the situation. “I knew I needed a change, to rethink my career and find a place for myself, but taking this step requires brave which you don’t always have and sometimes it’s a luxury you can’t afford, especially when you have kids. Fortunately, that was not my case,” he adds.

you know how to stop

At these times you also need emotional environment which accompanies since social pressure plays against you. “You have a preconceived idea of ​​what a professional career should be, it seems like there’s only one path to success, the one that leads from intern to director. Many people will be happy this way, but this is not the only way. This way, there are more options for every type of person. It wasn’t enough for me,” Coral says. So even though he knew he was wrong, he decided I can stand it, a year, whatever it took so it wouldn’t hurt him later when it was time to find another job. “But it’s a lie, no matter how bad you are, you never leave it, you go on and on… In front of your emotional well-being you always put your career, salary, prestige…”.

but you should know stop yourself. “You know when something is for you and when it isn’t, even if you don’t want to see it. The key to recognizing the moment is in physical sensations, you have to listen to the body. If you feel sad and distress, ask yourself what is going on inside you; The answer will make you take a decision from a peace of mind perspective, even if it is to quit your job,” he says. David Gomez.

For Junker Coral The solution came in the form of a layoff, “something that is sometimes unconsciously sought in these situations,” Gomez explains. “We finished well, my boss was very nice to me, but when one person is not well, it affects the others,” says Coral. It still hurt. “I turned white settlement in hand involves a very complex process, you have to manage the acquired patterns of what success is, you have to unlearning to study again. It’s hard because at this point mistakeyou think ‘I had it and it got away’, I didn’t realize it was the best for everyone, I needed freedom’.

manage emotions

how to manage this mistake? From her experience now, after a few months off, as part of Factorial’s HR team, Coral encourages being “profanity, to tell what is happening without being silent. If you get kicked out, you have to say, don’t sugarcoat the situation. This is the first section to be broken and the first step to get rid of shame and guilt. They are emotions that anchor you, that prevent you from moving on and turning the page.” self-criticism, Explain. “Sometimes you’re in great company that treats you well, but you’re bad and you shouldn’t hold others responsible for that.”

Furthermore, David Gmez explains, the keys to good emotional management in a company can be summarized in three: understanding, forgiveness and acceptance. “Stop treating yourself badly, every negative thought generates cortisol and this substance causes stress. Change your inner dialogue and think about how you would talk to your best friend. And if you’re wrong, don’t beat yourself up, it’s not something you did on purpose. Accept yourself the way you are because that’s what got you into this job, there’s nothing you can do showhe insists.

Along with this, the best way to be motivated at work, the expert points out, is to “focus on what positive and see what we don’t like not as punishment but as learning for this moment or for the future. We learn from everything negative, and a lot.” And a final tip for relax: “Always remember that no one is forcing you to put up with this situation, you can always leave,” adds Gomez. Coral Yunquera is now clear: “If something is not for you, move“.

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